I worked at a media company a few years ago and had to review online business reviews for approval. The above review for a restaurant was rejected because it’s unintelligible; it doesn’t make a lick of sense. The author doesn’t communicate his grievances well. What was so “unperfessional” about having a 19-year-old “gurl” working there? And the misspellings are atrocious. Sadly, poor communication silenced this poor man’s voice.
Let’s give it a quick makeover:
I want a refund for my meal. Your business was very unprofessional the day that I visited, which was December 8, 2012. The service was slow; it took nearly an hour for my shrimp pasta to come. And when it did come, it wasn’t very tasty and lukewarm. The waitress seemed indifferent, too. . .
How did I do that? It’s easy:
State your point initially and clearly. Tell the letter recipient up front what you want. Is it a refund or a credit or a replacement? Whatever you desire, don’t be afraid to jump right in before you go on to support your request or claim.
Details, please. This is what’s lacking in the review above. When I revised it, I mentioned the date, the wait time–nearly down to the minute–and what dish was ordered. Those minor differences brought major flair. Throwing in details or stats really adds credibility.
No text lingo. The author used “u” for “you.” This is no place for “text talk” if you want to be taken seriously. In other words, leave “LOL” and “OMG” for your iPhone and Smartphone.
Mind your spelling. I know that you are probably sick of my saying this but it’s crucial. Poor spelling can make a document downright painful to read. Thus, your writing will be ignored, laughed at or even trashed, like the above review.
Happy reading and writing, my friends!
Sean C. Wright is the author of the short stories Hazel Hogan and Devil Does Dallas. She is also an editor. For more information about her writing skills and how she can assist you with yours–business or consumer–visit http://www.iwrightaway.com/.
Send me your typo images! Snap pictures and email them to email@example.com. They must be real pictures and not images in online links, as those might be doctored. I’m looking for the real McCoy. Conceal the company’s identity if possible. No sweat if you can’t. I’ll hide the name before I post it. We’re not looking to embarrass but to educate.