3 Probable Reasons You Aren’t Mr. Right

mrwrong

Are you or someone you know often sans female company, even though you’re the nicest of guys?  Maybe, just maybe, you or your friends are one of these guys at one time or another. . .

Mr. Unrequited Love.  It’s clearly obvious to everyone else that the objects of Mr. UL’s affections are uninterested.  Nonsense, Mr. UL rationalizes; women’s rejections are simply code for men to try harder.  Thus he spends crazy, uncalled for amounts of time brainstorming ideas to win over elusive women.  Even his cronies’ wise and direct counsel, “Dude, she’s just not in to you!” doesn’t faze him.  In more extreme cases, Mr. UL isn’t sobered to the fact his crush doesn’t have mutual feelings until she marries another man, or has slapped him with a restraining order.  (Whoa!)  In turn, he ignores attention other women give him; they neverseem to be his type.

Mr. Unicorn Chaser. Mr. UC is Mr. Unrequited Love’s cousin, as he too is chasing a fantasy.  He searches in vain for that woman who will live up to the airbrushed images of actresses or models.  Mr. UC’s dating history is littered with women he broke up with when he discovered they had cellulite, a pimple, or some other imperfection.   It’s too painful and way too boring to believe that celebrity women have ginormous help in the looks department with a team of hair and makeup artists, filtered lights and personal trainers.  So he chooses not to; so he keeps searching. . .and searching.

Mr. Spread Too Thin.  Mr. STT gets major brownie points for his full life and heart of gold.  He works late when asked to, may be a Cub Scout troop leader, volunteers at soup kitchens, helps his friends move, and house sits for his cousin.  But for the woman he tries to date, it can mean his being habitually late, or cancelling altogether because “something came up.”  Sadly, Mr. STT is often left shaking his head after he’s been dumped for the fifty-eleventh time, puzzled as to why he keeps meeting women who aren’t more flexible.  And why, he also wonders, do women get so annoyed when you tell them you’ll pencil them in on your calendar?

No worries if you recognized yourself or friends in the descriptions above.  Taking the first step to improvement starts with admitting to past mistakes.  After you figure out howyou keep screwing up with women, figure out why.   Take a break from the dating game until then.  And one thing – the most important thing — the three aforementioned types have in common is they’ve taken all the fun out of dating.  Don’t forget to have fun out there.

Sean C. Wright is the author of 8 books. For more information about her writing skills and how she can assist you with yours–business or consumer–visit https://seanarchy.wordpress.com.

IMG_4170

I’m pleased to announce the release of my 8th book, Skoll’s Diary.

Africans and African Americans left Earth in 1900, and went to another planet in The Milky Way to escape mistreatment…

It’s now the year 3005 on that terraformed planet. We get a peek into the life of a bright and sensitive teenaged boy, Skoll, through his journal. He loves his world, but is curious about life on Earth. Then suddenly, an epic event casts him in the middle of a difficult decision.  The fate of the planet’s community is in his hands.

Get the book here. I’d appreciate your leaving a review if you read it. Thanks in advance!

Afro-Sean-Commission-Final copy

The Aloof Goofs

AloofGoofImage

We all know people like this: they always – very enthusiastically – eat food we bring to the office to share but never reciprocate.  They RSVP yes to an event but may not show up and don’t bother to call and give explanation.  You may not get thank-you cards for the wedding/baby/housewarming gift you gave them because they “just don’t get around” to sending them.

People who behave like this have become so commonplace these days that they have earned a name in my book: the Aloof Goofs – AG for short.  We all look out for Number One; AGs do to the point of sheer self-absorption.

Why the recent AG boom?  I say technology is partially to blame.  We live in a world today where we don’t really need to communicate with other humans as much as we use to.  For example, we’re much more likely to shoot an e-mail or a text message to someone, instead of picking up the phone or walking down the hall to someone’s office.  If we need to make inquiries on our accounts, we can do it by a computerized menu when we call in.  The telephony menu actually gives us options as to whether or not we want to speak to a live person.  And some people are literally tethered to their cell phones in public and are simply less available to interact.  Technology is making robots out of us instead of us making robots; thus the warmth that makes us human can be at best lukewarm these days.

Another reason for the AG epidemic in this country is that America is out of practice with using good manners towards one another.  For instance, my grandmother was a child in The Great Depression.  She and many other octogenarians tend to be generous and thoughtful souls.  Because monetary or tangible gifts and pleasures were such a rarity in The Depression, good deeds were pretty much all they had to give.  That value is ingrained in that generation.  The Baby Boomers, which are their children, were taught the same values.  Things started to go south with my generation, a.k.a. Generation X, or the Me Generation.  By then, playing with big, shiny toys and video games and watching cable TV replaced relationship-building activities, like helping a friend with laundry or shoveling a neighbor’s snowy driveway.  America was once known for its generosity and empathy for the human plight and it is a shame we are losing sight of that.

What’s the big deal, you may ask?  When it comes to Aloof Goofs, why can’t we live and let live?  AG behavior has consequences.  A friend of mine told me about how floored she was when someone in her life, who is a practicing AG, called her in the wee hours of the morning.  He needed a ride because his car had broken down.  She did not think twice about telling him no. A relative of mine works in Human Resources and told me someone else in our family who never calls her “finally found her phone number” and was in dire need of employment.  My relative decided to help but not with the best efforts.  In short, these two examples demonstrate that when we withdraw from the generosity bank too often but do not make deposits, we will eventually have an overdraft – and emotional overdrafts are much harder to resolve than financial ones.

The most alarming damage in practicing Aloof Goof behavior can currently be seen in our children.  Higher numbers of children are being expelled from kindergarten or even nursery school for displaying some of these behaviors.  We are teaching them that selfishness and plain disregard for courtesy is the norm.

As we all know, bad habits can be reformed.  The most important practice to eradicate Aloof Goof behavior is making a concerted effort to connect with others whenever possible.  Give the e-mail and text messaging a rest and send an “un-birthday” card via snail mail to someone; this is a greeting card sent for no reason, no special occasion other than you appreciate the person.  Adopting our grandparents’ attitude is another surefire winner: look for ways to bring pleasure to other people.  Doing some spring cleaning?  Give people you know first choice on that file cabinet you were planning to put in a yard sale or the clothes and appliances you were going to give to charity.  Leave communal places and things we use in better condition than we found them.  Having this mind-set will lead to AG standing for All Good.

Are you an Aloof Goof?

  •  Do you habitually contact people only when you need a favor?
  • Can you remember the last time you did a good deed for someone without being asked?
  • Do you take in more thoughtful gestures and material things from people than you give?
  • Can you “never find time” to send thank-you notes in situations when it is proper etiquette to do so?

Sean C. Wright is the author of the short stories Hazel Hogan and Devil Does Dallas. She is also an editor. For more information about her writing skills and how she can assist you with yours–business or consumer–visit https://seanarchy.wordpress.com.

SpaghettiWords

3 Probable Reasons You Aren’t Mr. Right

mrwrong

Are you or someone you know often sans female company, even though you’re the nicest of guys?  Maybe, just maybe, you or your friends are one of these guys at one time or another. . .

Mr. Unrequited Love.  It’s clearly obvious to everyone else that the objects of Mr. UL’s affections are uninterested.  Nonsense, Mr. UL rationalizes; women’s rejections are simply code for men to try harder.  Thus he spends crazy, uncalled for amounts of time brainstorming ideas to win over elusive women.  Even his cronies’ wise and direct counsel, “Dude, she’s just not in to you!” doesn’t faze him.  In more extreme cases, Mr. UL isn’t sobered to the fact his crush doesn’t have mutual feelings until she marries another man, or has slapped him with a restraining order.  (Whoa!)  In turn, he ignores attention other women give him; they neverseem to be his type.

Mr. Unicorn Chaser.Mr. UC is Mr. Unrequited Love’s cousin, as he too is chasing a fantasy.  He searches in vain for that woman who will live up to the airbrushed images of actresses or models.  Mr. UC’s dating history is littered with women he broke up with when he discovered they had cellulite, a pimple, or some other imperfection.   It’s too painful and way too boring to believe that celebrity women have ginormous help in the looks department with a team of hair and makeup artists, filtered lights and personal trainers.  So he chooses not to; so he keeps searching. . .and searching.

Mr. Spread Too Thin.  Mr. STT gets major brownie points for his full life and heart of gold.  He works late when asked to, may be a Cub Scout troop leader, volunteers at soup kitchens, helps his friends move, and house sits for his cousin.  But for the woman he tries to date, it can mean his being habitually late, or cancelling altogether because “something came up.”  Sadly, Mr. STT is often left shaking his head after he’s been dumped for the fifty-eleventh time, puzzled as to why he keeps meeting women who aren’t more flexible.  And why, he also wonders, do women get so annoyed when you tell them you’ll pencil them in on your calendar?

No worries if you recognized yourself or friends in the descriptions above.  Taking the first step to improvement starts with admitting to past mistakes.  After you figure out howyou keep screwing up with women, figure out why.   Take a break from the dating game until then.  And one thing – the most important thing — the three aforementioned types have in common is they’ve taken all the fun out of dating.  Don’t forget to have fun out there.

Sean C. Wright is the author of 8 books. For more information about her writing skills and how she can assist you with yours–business or consumer–visit https://seanarchy.wordpress.com.

IMG_4170

 

I’m pleased to announce the release of my 8th book, Skoll’s Diary.

Africans and African Americans left Earth in 1900, and went to another planet in The Milky Way to escape mistreatment…

It’s now the year 3005 on that terraformed planet. We get a peek into the life of a bright and sensitive teenaged boy, Skoll, through his journal. He loves his world, but is curious about life on Earth. Then suddenly, an epic event casts him in the middle of a difficult decision.  The fate of the planet’s community is in his hands.

Get the book here. I’d appreciate your leaving a review if you read it. Thanks in advance!

Afro-Sean-Commission-Final copy